Here's the list.
Refuting the Excuses
~ This list is an exercise in proving that I have plenty of time to do the work that I am supposed to as a homemaker and wife and the ability to prepare for these things. I have 24 hours in a day, just like everyone else and God has given me many abilities I can use to make these things fun. I have no excuses! Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” NASB ~
1) I can’t stay up after making James’s breakfast and lunch. I have done this before so I can do it again. I know that tea helps me stay awake so I should use that. Early morning is ideal for quiet time and doing my work out. I don’t need all that extra sleep, which may be contributing to my weight issues, and I can get to sleep at the right time if I don’t sleep in.
2) I can’t work out and still be productive during the day.
If I do the work out earlier enough, I can rest for a bit afterward without hindering time for other tasks. Also, I need to do exercises that won’t fatigue me too much. If I don’t feel like I could work out again, I’ve done too much. Gentle yoga moves, transverse abdominal work and walking are ideal.
3) There isn’t enough time during the week to clean the house.
There is no reason for this. Doing a one-shot task and an on-going task is not too much during the day. An example would be cleaning the bathroom and folding the clean laundry. Neither of those things takes too much time. Make a schedule for each day that includes a one-shot and on-going and a maintenance task. Stick to this and it will be much easier to tackle these things.
4) I can’t keep up with the laundry.
The above schedule will address this. Not only will this make things easier on James when it comes to work clothes, it will help our clothes last longer. Patching and mending will also help.
5) I don’t have the time or the inspiration to draw every day.
Given the above things, there should most definitely be time to draw. I need to carve out a specific time, probably after lunch as it will be easier to assimilate into nap/quiet time for children later and is good for letting digestion do its thing. As for inspiration, this is not necessary. Follow lessons on Drawspace or work on specific things for stories. There is never a time I don’t have something to draw, as long as I don’t expect perfection.
6) Nobody helps me out that much so why should I keep up with the house?
I don’t need that much help. James is willing to work on the basement and Mom does the dishes when I cook dinner. I have plenty of time so this is an attitude issue. Proverbs 31: 17-18 “She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable, her lamp burns late into the night.” NLT
7) The mess is too overwhelming for me to handle.
The mess is big but it is not impossible to deal with, especially taken in small chunks. A little every day will go a long way. This can be worked into the on-going tasks. Remember Philippians 4:13!
8) I will never be able to lose weight.
Says who? Just because the pounds aren’t melting away doesn’t mean they won’t eventually. This takes time and diligence neither of which I’ve been putting into it. If I’m doing this and still I can’t seem to lose any weight, then there may be a problem to address with a doctor but first I need to put in the work. Again, I need to carve out time for this.
9) I will never know how to do things for myself rather than others or other-oriented goals.
This one I’m not so sure about but it’s something I should take to God. I don’t know what to do about this but He knows and can direct me in the way I should go in regards to this. Talking to Jeff may help as well because I really don’t understand what James means by this. My art is pretty much all for myself, or at least I think it is. This needs further scrutiny.
10) I can’t do anything toward my homesteading goals right now.
There are many things I can experiment with while waiting for garden space or livestock. I can sprout things, grow small batches of herbs and microgreens, work on soaking and fermenting grains, search for second hand tools like a grain mill and work on other skills I have the tools for, like sewing. The biggest thing I should be doing is breaking down my goals into steps that I can be working on so I’m not trying to do everything at once.
11) I can’t feed my family well on conventional food.
While conventional food is not ideal, it is what is available to us at this time due to budget restraints. Until we are able to rework our budget to accommodate the higher prices of better quality food, I need to focus on making meals as healthful as possible with the conventionally grown items. I should also strive to have a variety of foods to limit the overexposure of chemicals specific to the particular food. Growing as much as I can with the space I’ve got and limiting the foods that are the most sprayed/injected/etc. will be a good start. This is a step by step process.
12) I don’t have time for experimenting and must get things right the first time.
I am not God, therefore I am not expected to get everything right the first time. There is no rush because things will not fall apart if I don’t learn to bake sourdough or set up a permaculture garden immediately before having babies or what have you. God is in control of what I can and cannot do, of the timeline for my learning and of all that I should do for myself and my family. I need to let Him direct my projects and let go of the need to be perfect because I’m not and He is.
13) I will mess up badly if I try to can food.
See above. This is something I need to try before writing it off as impossible. Aunt Mel did it wrong for years and never killed anybody, so why am I so afraid to do it right? The safety precautions are easy to understand and I know how to identify food gone icky. Furthermore, it is a skill that is extremely valuable in light of the depleted conventional farms that are currently failing, one that I wish to teach my children so that whatever the future may hold for the state of food, they will have skills to feed their families and save that food for the winter.
14) I will be stuck on birth control pills for as long as we’re not actively trying to have a child.
I need to continue my research on this. As far as I can tell from my research, conventional doctors believe them to be safe but a large body of studies indicate that long-term use can cause increased risks that outweigh the benefits of use. While they do reduce the chances of ovarian and endometrial cancers (which makes sense because these parts are not being used in the same way due to the hormones), it increases the risk of breast, uterine, and LIVER cancer (which I cannot live without). One of my biggest issues though, is that while the pill can guarantee 98.9ish% effectiveness in preventing pregnancy, it prevents ovulation on about 68-75% of the time. This means that because of the dramatic thinning of the endometrium (it needs to be about 12mm thick for implantation and the pill keeps it at less than 6mm), eggs that were released in that 25-32% of the time may have been fertilized but were simply unable to implant. This is pretty much what the terrible morning-after abortion pill does. This is also the definition of a chemical pregnancy, which is considered a miscarriage. So following that logic, taking the pill is forced miscarriage. It also is looking more and more like we don’t trust God to know when we should have children and when we shouldn’t. I don’t want to Crouse or Gentner, but the pill is seeming less wise. My research is also indicating that the pill is not helpful for PCOS, if I indeed have it because it creates a false environment of hormonal rightness. It may even be doing more harm than good by flooding my system with androgenic hormones that increase my testosterone levels, which in turn increase my estrogen levels, which lead to weight gain. The excess fat then gives off more estrogen and the cycle continues. These things seem to outweigh protecting my other ovary. Shouldn’t I be trusting God to protect my fertility, indeed my very life, rather than a man-made chemical set?
15) The Lysakowski-Sparkia homestead is nothing but a dream.
While it is a dream right now, it doesn’t have to stay that way. We are all for it right now, we are creative and determined people. With proper preparation, this is not something impossible to achieve. God willing, of course.
16) I will be a bad mom because I don’t have enough discipline and will thus become hypocritical when teaching our future children.
Every parent will go through this. The best thing I can do is pray that God gives me the desire to learn discipline so that I’m not asking things of our children that I am not doing myself. It’s not a sign of a bad mom, just one that is sinful, imperfect and still needing to learn about her role.
17) I can’t break my sugar habit.
Philippians 4:13 strikes again! This is completely doable, especially if I’m doing the cooking. I don’t have to add refined sugar to my food. It would be nice if I didn’t have to go it alone but if that’s the case, I will do it.
18) I will never have Imogene, Geraldine, or Mable (Mini Jersey Cow, goat and ewe) because I’m not disciplined and brave enough to handle them.
I need to start small with this one. I should start by raising laying hens before anything else. If that goes well, with proper research and seeking out opportunities to interact with these bigger animals, this is completely doable. These animals require daily care but this is not something out of the scope of my abilities.
19) I will never finish any of my comics let alone publish them.
Says who? Only I can say that and based on what I’ve been doing, I’m saying I can’t do it. But I know I can and the only way to do so is to work at it every day. Preparation and planning is the key. Keeping to the plan is essential. This is doable, especially because I plan to self-publish. I cannot keep living in fear that I will fail. I only fail if I don’t do it.
20) I will never be enough for James.
Where in the world did I get this idea? God made me for James, He knows what He is doing. I am enough because God made me enough. I have things to learn but so does James. We are both imperfect and will mess up, but we are where we are supposed to be with each other. Keep making positive changes but don’t freak out!